...that's me as of late. I am not unhappy as I am being super efficient and learning tonnes of new things in my field of work, but I am tired (12 to 14hrs work straight for 3 weeks now, infront of a computer, with no dinners and little sleep) and I want to be on holiday, laughing and carefree.
I am starting to feel anxious as I am off to the land of Jules in 8 days - I am worried that I am no longer his love. I wake-up in the middle of the night with such visual and tormented nightmares about him, all my anxieties of the holiday are appearing in my dreams so tragically and painfully; I wake-up almost in tears with no idea of how to get rid of the dread I feel. Only seeing my love will sort this out I think.
There is nothing I can do, this event is in the future and out of my control - I am going there to shock the planet into acting. Almost like I am saying to my future: "come on baby, here I am, surprise me! I am here surrendering myself to you, relinquishing all control and giving myself up to you future - you decide!" Beats sitting at home, biting my nails, checking my emails and wishing I could sleep, no??
So I am taking a stance, on what I have no earthly idea! More news to come once my future has decided what to do with me... until then, Adieu!
