On the topic of paranoia and other mental ailments...

I’d like to touch on the subject of insanity. I sometimes think about mental illnesses and whether there are any tell-tale signs that in the end (or God forbid, earlier than "the end"), I’ll end-up dribbling in a mad house.

 

My curiosity on this subject and the prediction of its intent, is I guess linked to my need to believe that I can predict my own future - that there is no destiny. That is because I like to think that I am in control of my life, which is a hoax I know, but it makes me feel safe. Coincidentally, I also am a fan of the idea that there are loads of surprises ahead which I have no control over (Schizophrenia anyone??). This duality is seen in so many of my beliefs and therefore makes it often very hard for me to make a decision; I’m always in limbo, on the tight-rope thinking “Do I go left, do I go right, will I fall?” and wasting my time. I have no idea whether this is a sign of my “impending mental illness” or is it because I don’t understand the concept of “faith”, but I’ll leave the latter theory for a whole other blog.

 

I once read that people who took a lot of X & Charlie were more susceptible to illnesses such as Alzheimers; that people who smoked too much weed can develop paranoid tendencies, phobias, OCD, etc... Hence my paranoia about mental illnesses... It’s MAD I tell ya!! muahahahaha!!!